Keyboard working, trying again.?

We have been Christians for many years, actively heading up minist ries in large churches, homeschooling for 13 years with religious curriculum, naming our children biblical names, family magazine out reach, etc. We gave all the standard answers when asked about suffering. Now suffering has come to our baby and we hate God. Figuritively, either he's beating our tiny son wih a chair leg or he's st anding by watching it happen. Either way, we hate him. We've left church, devotions, our religious books, et c. because we can't stomach worshipping him now. Is there any answer? We always avoided the suffering question because we could. We said whatever we were told by leaders to say. Standard responses.Now, we can't give answers. We're asking,too. We worked hard many years to help people who were suffering. It was all we knew to do. Now were furious and finding humans to be the ONLY helpers.He is torturing child and I hate him now. Is there ever going to be a way out of that?